Sometimes it seems like there are two versions of ourselves: one version that wants to develop good habits and reach our goals and then another version that wants to do whatever it feels in the moment.
The version that you feed the most will win.
Excessive eating, spending and talking are all the result of behaving emotionally. When our emotions are in the driver's seat we tend to do things out of balance.
Many people have spent the majority of their lives letting their emotions rule them.
Being a slave to your emotions means even the slightest disapproving comment, or rude word from another can send us into a tailspin of anger, anxiety or self-doubt.
It means that we aren’t capable of reaching our goals because our emotions make all our choices for us.
It means that we don’t choose the type of day that we are going to have, but our emotions decide for us.
Going back and forth all day from happy to sad to angry to stressed to happy again is exhausting. We use up so much of our daily energy when we let our emotions run rampant.
We need to learn to reel in some of those emotions.
Being able to do whatever we feel like whenever we feel like it sounds like a dream. But the truth is the times when we choose to push our emotions aside and do the thing that we don’t want to do, is usually when we end up the happiest.
The times I choose to control my temper and not say those harsh words or save the money and not make the impulse purchase or eat the salad when I really want the cupcake.
Every goal we want to reach will require sacrifice.
For some of us the greatest sacrifice will be conquering our emotions.
You don’t have to let your feelings control you. You can say, "No" to them.
Many people know that they need to get control over their emotions, but they never do anything about it.
Don’t be one of those people. Do something about it.
So How Do I Gain Control Over My Emotions?
Stop feeding your emotions and they will die.
You don't have to consult your feelings before you make a choice. You can make the choice that is right for you no matter how your emotions feel about it.
I used to check in with my feelings all day long. I didn’t even realize that I was doing it, but I would constantly ask myself how I felt before deciding what to do next.
Stop checking in with your emotions to get their opinion. They don’t get a say, they are not the boss of you, YOU are the boss of you.
You need to develop the habit of choosing how you are going to live each day without letting your emotions weigh in on the decision.
Without a plan to follow, it is easy to simply do whatever you feel in the moment.
To prevent your emotions from making your decisions, you need to make your decisions ahead of time, before the emotions chime in.
Set aside time to plan out the important things that you want to be sure to accomplish each day and the times you plan on doing each activity. Then, when the emotions start screaming at you later in the day you have a plan for success that you can follow.
For example, if you have a work dinner to attend, but you also have health goals that you don’t want to break, then plan ahead of time.
Look at the restaurant's online menu and decide beforehand what you will order. This will take a lot of the stress and temptation away.
If on the other hand you decide the restaurant is just too tasty to pass up on the high calorie meal then make a plan to eat healthy low calorie items during the day so you can splurge at dinner and still stay on track with your goals.
When you take the time to plan out goals that have been on your heart for years that you know will have a positive affect on your life, don’t allow your emotions to come in and rob you from accomplishing that plan.
Make a plan and then put your emotions in their place and stick to the plan.
When you start feeling emotional or lacking in motivation it is time to refocus.
Make a switch from focusing on your emotions to focusing on your “whys” (the reasons why you want to achieve your goals).
A week ago I was really struggling with my emotions. I didn't feel like going to the gym and had zero motivation. After 3 days of my emotions relentlessly hounding me I was close to giving in.
It just so happened that I was in the middle of writing this blog post at that time. When I got to this section about focusing on your why, a light bulb went on.
I realized why my emotions were having so much influence over me this week because I was giving them a lot of my focus.
I was listening to my feelings and then reiterating them all day long. “I’m so tired this week, I should just take the week off from exercise.” “I have no motivation, my body feels sluggish”.
Once I realized what I was doing I literally stopped in the middle of writing this, grabbed my list of reasons “why” I want to go to the gym and started reading them out loud to myself over and over until my mind was off my emotions and refocused on my goals.
We are not helpless victims of our emotions.
We have power over them and we can do things to combat our emotions and conquer them.
After re-reading my “whys” I became energized and motivated and I made it to the gym all week and I am so glad that I did.
You can do the same. You can conquer your emotions.
When we are no longer a slave to our emotions our feelings no longer dictate how successful we become, what we eat, say or do.
Mastering your emotions gives you the freedom to make the tough sacrifices now that will give you huge results in the future. The freedom to achieve hard goals and overcome struggles that have held you back for years.
Your Turn
Below are a few questions to get you started in overcoming your emotions. Please take you time to write your answers down thoughtfully.
Then put them somewhere you will remember to read them EVERYDAY. This will help you stay focused on your goals and control your emotions.
